Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
