That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
