The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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