Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
