I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
