He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
