He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
