two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
