The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
