Do you still have your period?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
