Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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