get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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