i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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