Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
