i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
