C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I met the friendliest cop last night
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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