Nicole vs. Life
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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