Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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