We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
