so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
