i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
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