I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
you win again, gameday.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
