I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
