remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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