This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
