I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
