Your face is a jimmy john
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
