You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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