I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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