what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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