Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
