she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
