I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
