no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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