No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
My life is pants optional.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
