what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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