so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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