You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
