3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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