I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
