was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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