Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
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