It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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