dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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