Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
The uberlube is also flammable
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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