So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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