We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
