and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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