My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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