Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
