you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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