You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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