You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
