Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize