what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
We need to rekindle our bromance
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
