We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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