I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize