Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
