Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
