I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
